This #BlackBoyJoy I Have

"Defining myself, as opposed to being defined by others, is one of the most difficult challenges I face.” – Carol Moseley-Braun

I think it’s a fair statement to say that our society and especially black culture still has an issue with accepting those of us who do not necessarily conform to “society’s norm.” You see this especially in the black community—perhaps because we are so used to having to act a certain kind of way just to make sure we don’t get beat or even worse. But that attitude has carried its way well into even today’s time. A lot of the black community is still very traditional where the woman should carry herself like a lady and be submissive to her husband and the man should be hyper-masculine, he should provide for his family and be tough all of the time. Growing up as a young black man, who is not very masculine and I suppose what other people would consider “normal”, I’ve felt out of place in a lot of situations. One can only guess my excitement when I started to see the trend of “black boy joy” begin to garner more and more attention. While some people may see this as only a trend that’ll soon fade away, I think this is a huge moment for black men in general and I’m going to tell you why I hope it’s here to stay.

I can definitely understand why much of the black community is still very traditional, especially when it comes to how a black man should act. We as men were once stripped of our manhood and humiliated on a daily basis. I cannot imagine what it felt like to know you couldn’t protect your family or shield them from the dangers of slavery and racism. So of course, once we as a people began to gain more rights, black men seized the opportunity to reclaim the manhood that was ripped away from them for hundreds of years. Unfortunately, this lead to young black boys hearing “Don’t be a sissy”, “Man up, boy!”, “Men aren’t supposed to cry.” Not only that, but it was the general consensus that something was wrong with you if you didn’t hang out with the guys, played football and basketball, and talked about the next chick you were going to score. I can tell you from personal experience that hearing things like that and be ostracized because I didn’t enjoy “guy things” made me feel horrible and alienated. It made me feel as if my manhood wasn’t on par with theirs’s.

It’s my personal belief that you don’t have to be this macho, hyper-masculine tough guy to be considered a man. And just because you aren’t those things, doesn’t automatically make you gay as many would assume. This is why I am so grateful for celebrities and influencers like Chance the Rapper, Pharrell, Prince, Andre 300, Steph Curry, Jidenna, and Donald Glover. These black men are showing the world that it’s okay to be you. They aren’t afraid to smile, to show emotion, to be their authentic selves. They never worry about their sexuality coming into question because they did something, said something or wore something that not traditionally considered as something that is masculine. It’s my hope that through these celebrities and brave everyday young, black men that we begin to change the stigma and start the conversation of defining what true manhood is. I personally think surviving as a young, black man in America is proof enough that you are “man enough.” So what if you want to put flowers in your hair or wear something that’s unconventional. I’m wholeheartedly here for this #blackboyjoy I and others have and I hope it catches on to the rest of my brothers.

#David #500words